Ruth sits down with Dr. Elena Paweta on her IDEAS + LEADERS podcast to have a conversation that centers not just on speaking techniques, but on cultivating a mindset for effective, impactful communication, even under pressure. Ruth shares how discovering TED in 2009 led her to found one of the world’s first TEDx events and ultimately transition into a full-time career as an executive speech coach. Reflecting on early coaching missteps, she emphasizes that effective communication begins with self-awareness.
HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE EPISODE:
1. The Most Common Mistake Presenters Make
We don’t know ourselves well enough.
People bring “shaded habits” into high-stakes communication—behaviors that feel harmless in informal settings but undermine credibility in bigger rooms.
Examples:
Overusing filler words
Ignoring time limits
Talking too fast
Reading slides
Poor transitions or run-on sentences
These habits remain harmless until they’re illuminated in more visible settings, where consequences are real.
2. How to Identify and Improve Your Speaking Habits
Ruth recommends:
Listen to yourself
Record yourself (like a podcast host would).
Notice one thing you want to improve—don’t overwhelm yourself with 10 changes at once.
Ask for specific feedback
Not: “How did I do?” Instead:
“How was my opening?”
“Was the middle story clear?”
“Did I stay on time?”
Give yourself feedback before asking anyone else
Reflection fosters stronger learning than external critique alone.
3. Mindset Shift: “It’s Not About Me.”
Ruth’s #1 mantra for speaking: “This isn’t about me.”
This acts as a powerful reframe that:
Reduces anxiety
Refocuses attention on the audience
Prevents over-indexing on appearance or perfection
Helps speakers reconnect with purpose (what they want the audience to learn, feel, do)
4. What Leaders Need to Know About Executive Communication
Ruth highlights three key capabilities for executives, using the Birkman assessment as a lens:
Know Your Social Energy
Are you energized or depleted by group interaction?
This affects your capacity to communicate effectively.
Example: A division president made decisions in meetings but reversed them later by email—revealing the mismatch between her role and her interpersonal energy.
Know Your Stress Triggers
Where do you feel stress—gut, heart, head?
How do you respond—defensiveness, withdrawal, irritability?
Leaders must learn to regulate themselves to communicate constructively.
Listening + Silence Are Power Tools
Communication is not only speaking. Leaders must:
Pause
Listen with empathy
Create space for others
“Read the room” emotionally
These skills often matter more than polished delivery.
5. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Matters More Than Technique
Elena and Ruth agree that:
Great leaders aren’t always charismatic speakers.
They are excellent listeners, emotionally attuned, aware of their team.
EQ grows through exposure: conversations, groups, teaching, hosting.
Speaking is not natural—it is habitual.
6. We Are Always in Process
Communication is a lifelong journey. There is no finish line—just ongoing refinement.
Ruth emphasizes:
Know yourself
Keep practicing
Build habits
Take small steps
- Give yourself space to evolve
Most importantly, even experienced speakers can learn things they didn’t know they didn’t know, particularly if they pick up The Motivated Speaker.