In this episode called, “How to Train Your Brain to Speak Better in Any Setting,” Ruth Milligan speaks with Mamie Kanfer Stewart, host of The Modern Manager podcast, and shares strategies to help individuals speak with greater confidence, clarity, and effectiveness. Ruth emphasizes that while everyone talks, not everyone communicates well—especially in high-stakes situations. She also believes that many communication issues stem from unaddressed habits formed in low-stakes settings, such as overusing filler words (“um,” “like”), going off-topic, or ignoring time constraints.
Ruth stresses the importance of early intervention, like giving feedback to junior team members to prevent poor habits from solidifying, and identifies listening to recordings of oneself as one of the most effective tools for self-awareness and improvement. She advises managers to set clear expectations before meetings, provide prompts, and use tools like timers or pre-meeting prep to support team members. Ruth explains the impact of stress and executive functioning on speaking, noting that conditions like ADHD can impair the ability to manage time and focus during speech.
Ultimately, communication is not a natural talent but a practiced skill. Her recent book, The Motivated Speaker, outlines six threshold concepts that speakers must internalize to grow. Milligan encourages a mindset of continuous improvement, empathy, and structured support to elevate both individual and team communication.
Highlights from the Episode:
🎙️Introduction & Background (00:01)
Ruth Milligan is introduced as a communication expert with 35 years of experience and co-author of The Motivated Speaker.
💡Common Speaking Mistakes (01:46)
Ruth discusses common troublesome speaking habits, like filler words (“um,” “like”), and how they form in low-stakes environments but often carry into high-stakes scenarios. She addresses the importance of attending to these habits early in careers and the challenge of giving feedback without breaking trust.
🧠Self-Awareness Through Recording (06:34)
Ruth and Mamie talk about how important listening to yourself speak is the most effective self-improvement tool, and point out that self-recording can reveal verbal tics that others may never point out. Tools like Microsoft Teams’ Speaker Coach provide real-time feedback on filler words and pace in low-stakes settings like staff meetings that may help prevent embarrassment in more important scenarios.
🛠️Preparing Team Members (13:12)
Ruth explains how managers can pre-brief talkative or shy team members to balance participation and maintain inclusion. Some speakers can be overly cautious (perfectionists), others might be impulsive (possibly ADHD-related); both need tailored support. Leaders who provide specific questions and meeting goals in advance help speakers prepare concise, relevant content.
💥A Great Manager’s Impact (26:11)
Ruth shares a story of a supportive early boss who gave her autonomy and confidence, shaping her professional growth.
📚The Motivated Speaker (27:37)
Ruth explains the concept of threshold communication concepts and how her book helps uncover the foundational ideas great speakers must master.
Check out The Modern Manager to learn more!
